Make me forget that my heart was ever broken.
While he sleeps, he faces away from me. I imagine his face, his eyes shut, his lashes parting slightly as I slowly turn to face his back. His form is silhouetted by the glowing curtains before him. My hand reaches out, hovering over his shoulder, and I watch it tremble awkwardly, worried about the consequences of the brief contact, afraid of disrupting the silence which is familiar, but, as always, unwelcome.
My hand floats to his side, where it pauses again, absorbing the peculiar warmth radiating from his centre as he breathes fluidly and comfortably. I move like a mystic healer, my hand over muscle, sinew, and bone, repairing the unseen through a transfer of bodily energy. But the exchange feels incomplete and inadequate. Without the careful thought exercised throughout, I let my hand kiss his skin and rest there. I feel tiny hairs rise under my fingers and his temperature spikes or freezes, I am momentarily unable to discern which.
He painstakingly rolls each limb over, a slow-motion tidal wave of flesh collapsing on the shore beside me. I see a face still swathed in shadow. He is asleep or staring directly at me. I resist the usual instinct to turn away and feign slumber and I instead reach out my hand and pull him tightly to me.
Do atoms have feelings?
The Swerve: How the World Became Modern
by: Stephen Greenblatt
It raises the ontological ideas such as the fact that all beings are made up entirely of atoms, that the existence of life was merely an accident, and how the ultimate drive for our human experience is simply insatiable pleasure.
It’s rather bittersweet. Sweet that our insatiable self is evidence of desire, longing, and imagination; what would we be without such a thing? Bitter part raises the question whether or not we can still desire what we already have?
Even if we are mostly satisfied with what we love, we are all essentially unsatisfied at some level, but it also demands a sacrificial balance between what we want and what we can get.
Every gift has a price, every price has a gift. Even human nature has its trade off.
It doesn’t matter who you are,
you simply cannot have it all.